Sunday, January 10, 2016

My last post on this blog was March 11th of 2015 - two months before Billy died.  In that post I wrote about the movie, Still Alice, and I knew at that time that Billy was slipping away from us rapidly.  Even more imminent was my mom's death as she grew weaker, and her pain grew greater.  When I look back at that time period, some of my memories are vague, and a good bit of that time I do not remember. I felt like I was on death watch daily. We had gone through this with my dad in late September of the year before and in June of that year, we witnessed my Aunt Pat (mom's sister) die from the same cancer Mom suffered.  Mom slipped away from us on April 19th, a Sunday morning, and while I was so relieved that she was out of her pain and with our Savior, my heart ached badly.  I loved having her live with me.  Mom was so easy to care for because she was so appreciative of everything done for her, and I miss our talks and laughter. We looked forward to watching Downton Abbey, Shark Tank, and just about anything on HGTV. I am beyond blessed to have had Mom live with me for that time. 

Mom died on Sunday, and we had her funeral on Thursday. I returned to work the following Monday and received a phone call from the hospice nurse who cared for Billy.  She felt like Billy only had a few more weeks to be ravaged by Alzheimer's Disease. A few days later I asked his daytime nurse what she thought of the hospice nurse's estimate, and she felt like Billy had a few months left. I had such mixed feelings about either estimate. I hated that Billy hurt but couldn't tell us where the pain was, that he couldn't tell us he loved us or that he was thirsty or needed to pee or anything else because his brain was eaten up by this devious disease.  But the thought of him not being where I could talk to him and touch him pretty much made me weak and sick feeling. 

I got the call on Friday morning, May 8th. Billy was not responding or opening his eyes.  I left school immediately and spent the next 48 or so hours beside Billy.  The nursing home gave us a private room to spend our last days with him, and I am grateful for that.  Shelley and Andrew came, Billy's sisters, Cindy and Kathy came, my sister and brother in law, Leslie and Shawn came. We all had the opportunity to tell Billy how we felt about him, how much we loved him, and I told him again that he could go in peace. We would be okay. 

I will always be grateful that I was able to lie beside Billy the last two nights of his life listening to his labored breathing and caressing his arm and crying...a lot. For all the times I sucked it up and fought back my tears, I let them go. It seemed okay, and Billy never moved. It was as though his body was unaware of my presence, but I know our spirits connected. 

Today is January 10th, and I've been a widow (such a strange word) for eight months.  Much has happened in that time span, and my life is so different.  I no longer leave the school parking lot and head in the direction of the nursing home, so I can feed Billy his dinner. I had friends at the nursing home - many of the staff members and some of the residents. I have not returned, but I plan to go back at some point.  I bought a house (and I have awesome new neighbors), moved in just in time to go back to work, went to Las Vegas with Shelley, went on a cruise with my sister, and went to Branson with Karen and Martha (and we all went zip-lining!).  Shelley and I participated in the Grief Share program at Gateway Church, and it was helpful for both of us.  My grief process began years ago with Billy, so I felt like my experience was quite different from those who had lost their spouses suddenly or in a much shorter amount of time. Alzheimer's, like cancer and other horrific diseases, consumes the family of the victim, and it consumes them for years. 

A new part of my life has begun. I am no longer a caregiver. I am no longer married. After almost 34 years, that is an odd feeling. I am moving on, however, and I'm okay. I really am doing well.  I have moments that I miss Billy more than usual, and I still have tears at times. But, God never abandons me. He is the reason I can move on - knowing that Billy is whole again and no longer suffering.  He started his eternity ahead of me. I'm not certain what lies ahead, but God is in control of that for me. Thankfully.  Shelley feels it would be okay for me to date someday when I'm in my 70s...she's kind of funny like her daddy was! I don't know that I will have another relationship with a man or not.  It is not my central theme, but I'm open to the idea in the future. I love my family and friends, and I am quite happy with the life I have now.  I'm undecided on keeping this blog.  I enjoy writing, and I've waited too long to write this time. This blog originally started because I wanted to spread the word about Early Onset AD, and I wanted to keep friends and family updated on his condition.  He's doing beautifully now. 


  1. Celerion is conducting a clinical research study for the treatment of Alzheimer's disease. We're looking for :
    -Age 18-55
    -BMI 18-32
    click here for more details

  2. Diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment due to Alzheimer’s? OR Diagnosed with mild-to-moderate Alzheimer’s disease?The study involves several visits, including 4 screening visits, 1 inpatient stay of 5 days/4 nights in our clinic, and 10 outpatient visits.

    click here for more details


  3. For those people who's relative are Alzheimer’s Disease sufferer and maybe reading this, I find it hard that people are still ignorant of herbal medicine when it comes to treating Alzheimer’s Disease.
    I have been through many phases over the last couple of years since my father's diagnosis, he was 53 years old and had Early Onset Alzheimer’s Disease and his diagnosis changed my life in many ways, I spend most of the time in denial and I keep thinking the tests were wrong. But deep down I knew they were correct. Though sharing his story is very difficult. He was always very successful in being able to accomplish anything he set his mind on doing. Alzheimer’s is a bitch of a disease. It began by robbing his recent memory, but it didn't stop there. It continues to steal, taking the most recent memories until it has pilfered all but the oldest memories, he experienced a decline in his ability to think, remember and make decisions. I feel a need to express my thoughts and feelings about how it affected his day to day living and how its deteriorated since despite the help of some wonderful medics and medicine.
    I remind myself how lucky to come across Charanjit rychtova's herbal medicine which is able to control this disease without any side effect, I felt a moment of relief hoping that he is free from this ailment, and nothing compares to the healing power of nature. Now I believe almost every health problem can be addressed in one natural way or another. The only thing I wanted was for him to feel better. I’m proud to say my Dad is Alzheimer’s free. You can also contact him for more info. at

  4. This is a great write up, I was also a victim, having Alzheimer's disease for many years. My journey and diagnosis with Alzheimer's disease began when I was 58 years old. My medical condition was heart broken. The first thing I did was get myself informed. I was subjected to different medications including Donepezil, galantamine, by my doctors for treatment without the assurance of having a positive improvement. Despite my visit to several doctors my health wasn't getting better. Also I keep thinking there has to be another alternative to address this, using herbal remedy, this information reinforced my original gut feelings that I should not give up. I decided to look for another option to help my condition. I’ve made many lifelong friends when I was looking for a natural cure for my ailment. To say it gets better is an understatement. I find hope in the darkest of days when I saw a testimony of people talking about Dr. Charanjit's herbal product. I started having series of thoughts, thereafter I ordered his product and started using it, to give the Alzheimer's disease an aggressive approach, the symptoms progressively got better.
    Luckily, everything seemed to be okay after a few weeks of starting the herbs, this was a pleasant surprise. I promised myself that I would stay strong. You sit living in fear of the reality what you may face, never really knowing what will happen until it does. I am indebted and decided to always share my experience.
    If you have same problem and ready to give a try check out his blog: or contact him through

  5. Hi friends! It is the right time to take awareness about this Alzheimer’s Disease because 3.7 million Indians suffer from Alzheimer's according to a 2016 report and the figure is likely to double by 2030. It is a neurological disorder in which death of some brain cells causes memory loss. So be aware of this. Recently I read one blog on social media about the symptoms, causes and few facts about Alzheimer’s Disease - Alzheimer's Disease - Symptoms, Causes and Facts

    I also read one more blog about one traditional Indian diet that prevent Alzheimer’s Disease - The Link Between Alzheimer's And Indian Diet

    Follow these tips and avoid Alzheimer’s Disease and give long life to your brain. If you have any doubts on Alzheimer’s Disease consult a neurologist and follow their suggestions too.

  6. Having Dementia disease knocked my grandma off her life and had her living like a mad person, I did know how the better part of her life eluded her, my mind was completely splatted in two, She showed a severe decline in her mental and cognitive skills in the last few years of her life and her quality of life had deteriorated greatly in the last 3 years of life where she was mostly bedridden. I am very glad my partner sought help and now she is free from all signs of psychosis. She was healed through the herbal medicines from Dr Charanjit, I do not wish to go the same route and I manage to live a fairly active and healthy lifestyle.
    Here are her words "Finally, can you imagine what it would feel like to be NORMAL again, like I were before I was struck down by this horrible condition that you never asked for, and don’t deserve?" Sounds great doesn't it?
    You can contact him via email He is well known for his groundbreaking treatments concerning the brain and mind issues.

  7. thank you for sharing such beautifulinformation.i hope you will keep it up. alzheimer's disease and dementia are growing rapidly. Unfortunately we don't have any permanent cure for the disease but a new drug trial gives hope to the patients. For more information please visit

  8. In my own case it was just over four years ago when my Mum began to sound different on the phone. She lived back East with my siblings and my husband and I were living on the West coast and in phone calls it became apparent that my Mum's voice no longer had the same tones of excitement and humor that she used to; and instead it was very flat. At the same time she began to tell us about a situation at work that just didn't seem possible; she was complaining that a group of fellow workers were conspiring to get her. Although Mum had much academic success as a teenager, her behavior had become increasingly odd during the past years. She quit seeing her friends and no longer seemed to care about her appearance or social pursuits. She began wearing the same clothes each day and seldom bathed. She lived with several family members but rarely spoke to any of us. Obviously this whole story seemed very unbelievable and we sensed something was wrong but had no clue as to what it could be. We recommended that my Mum quit her job and look for something else - as we began to wonder if she had a "mental breakdown" and would get better once out of the stressful job situation.
    In the case of Mum, she was having persecurtory delusions, auditory hallucinations and negative symptoms that had lasted for at least Three years. All of these symptoms fit with a diagnosis of Dementia. Her story reflects a common case, in which a high-functioning young adult goes through a major decline in day-to-day skills. Although family and friends may feel this is a loss of the person they knew, the illness can be treated and a good outcome is possible as it all got better when we started using a herbal medicine for her through Aparajita.
    My recommendation to people who are either wondering if they have Dementia or wondering if a friend or loved one has Dementia should contact I think one of our key problems was that we didn't do this in the early days of my Mum's illness as we never thought of a natural alternative for her.

  9. I'm 15 years old. I was born with HIV my mother passed away because of the HIV infection And I regret why i never met Dr Itua he could have cured my mum for me because as a single mother it was very hard for my mother I came across Dr itua healing words online about how he cure different disease in different races diseases like HIV/Aids Herpes,Parkison,Copd,Epilepsy,Shingles,Cold Sore,Infertility, Chronic Fatigues Syndrome,Fibromyalgia, Diabetes Hepatitis even Cancer I was so excited but frighten at same time because I haven't come across such thing article online then I contacted Dr Itua on Mail I also chat with him on what's app +2348149277967 he tells me how it works then I tell him I want to proceed I paid him so swiftly Colorado post office I receive my herbal medicine within 4/5 working days he gave me guild lines to follow and here am I living healthy again can imagine how god use men to manifest his works am I writing in all articles online to spread the god work of Dr Itua Herbal Medicine,He's a Great Man.

  10. Here is a great herbal doctor who cured me of Hepatitis B. his name is Dr. Imoloa. I suffered Hepatitis B for 11 years, I was very weak with pains all over my body my stomach was swollen and I could hardly eat. And one day my brother came with a herbal medicine from doctor Imoloa and asked me to drink and I drank hence there was no hope, and behold after 2 week of taking the medicine, I started feeling relief, my swollen stomach started shrinking down and the pains was gone. I became normal after the completion of the medication, I went to the hospital and I was tested negative which means I’m cured. He can also cure the following diseases with his herbal medicine...lupus, hay fever, measles, dry cough, diabetics hepatitis A.B.C, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, bile salt disease, fol ate deficinecy, diarrhoea, liver/kidney inflammatory, eye cancer, skin cancer disease, malaria, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, food poisoning, parkinson disease, bowel cancer, bone cancer, brain tumours, asthma, arthritis, epilepsy, cystic fibrosis, lyme disease, muscle aches, cholera, fatigue, muscle aches, shortness of breath, alzhemer's disease, acute myeloid leukaemia, acute pancreatitis, chronic inflammatory joint disease, Addison's disease back acne, breast cancer, allergic bronchitis, Celia disease, bulimia, congenital heart disease, cirrhosis, constipation, fungal nail infection, fabromyalgia, (love spell) and many more. he is a great herbalist man. Contact him on email; You can also reach him on whatssap- +2347081986098.

  11. My name is hoover, my 18 years old daughter, Tricia was diagnosed of herpes 3 years ago. ever since then,we have been going from one hospital to the other. We tried all sorts of pills but all efforts to get rid of the virus was futile. The blisters kept on reappearing after some months. My daughter was making use of Acyclovir tablets 200mg. 2 tablets every 6hours and fusitin cream 15grams. and H5 POT. Permanganate with water to be applied 2x a day but all still show no result. So I was on the internet some months back, to sought for any other means of saving my only child. just then, i came across a comment on dr imoloa herbal treatment and decided to give it a try. i contacted the him and he prepared some herbs and sent it to me together with guidelines on how to use the herbs through DHL courier service. my daughter used it as directed dr imoloa and in less than 14days, my daughter regained her health.. You should contact Dr imoloa today directly on his email address for any kind of health challenge; lupus disease,  mouth ulcer,  mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis A.B.C.,   syphilis,  diarrhea,  HIV/AIDS,  Huntington's Disease,   back acne,  Chronic renal failure,   addison disease,  Chronic Pain,   Crohn's Disease,   Cystic Fibrosis,  Fibromyalgia,   Inflammatory Bowel Disease,  fungal nail disease, Lyme Disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major Depression,  Malignant Melanoma,   Mania,  Melorheostosis,   Meniere's Disease,  Mucopolysaccharidosis , Multiple Sclerosis,  Muscular Dystrophy,  Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer's Disease, parkison disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy,  Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease,   Back Pain,  Back Sprain,   Bipolar Disorder,  Brain Tumour,  Malignant,   Bruxism, Bulimia,  Cervical Disk Disease, cardiovascular disease, Neoplasms, chronic respiratory disease,  mental and behavioural disorder,     Cystic Fibrosis,   Hypertension, Diabetes, asthma,  Inflammatory autoimmune-mediated arthritis.  chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease,  impotence,  feta alcohol spectrum,  Dysthymic Disorder,   Eczema, tuberculosis,  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease.  and many more; contact him on email- also on  whatssap-+2347081986098.

  12. Thanks to Dr. James for his help in shrinking off my long term uterine fibroid. I had pelvic pain, heavy menses and swelling. I went to the hospital and was diagnosed with fibroid and advised to go for surgery. I was scared and I went online for more info and remedy about fibroid. Luckily, I found Dr. James natural medication for fibroid. I reached out to him, and he prepared me with his herbal medicine for fibroid shrinking, and i used the medicine as he prescribed for me and my fibroid disappeared totally and is now a year plus since I got cured.his herbal medicine is easy to drink with no side effects.If you know anyone suffering from these diseases or having any health challenges should contact Dr. JAMES for natural treatments. His herbal mix medicine is easy to drink with no side effects. Dr.James has cure for diseases like Pcos,Plantar-warts,Ovarian cyst, Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Lung Cancer,Breast Cancer,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Blood Cancer,Prostate Cancer ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease ,Celiac disease,Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Toxicity
    Syndrome Fibrodysplasia Ossificans ProgresS sclerosis,Seizures,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases ,Copd,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration, Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis,Lupus,Cushing’s disease,Heart failure,Multiple Sclerosis,Hypertension,Lyme Disease,Blood Cancer,Brain Cancer, Breast Cancer, Lung Cancer,Kidney Cancer, HIV/AIDS, Herpes Virus,Hepatitis B, Liver Inflammatory, Diabetes,Fibroid. Contact this Great man on his email and get a permanent cure of your diseases. Dr James Email Address